Five Times
by tromana
Summary: Oneshot Collection: Five examples of something that has happened to a character. New: Only Almost: or five times Jane and Lisbon almost kissed and the one time they actually did. Birthday fic for Chiisana Minako
1. Shed A Tear

**A/N: **Yes, I can see you looking at me as if I have gone absolutely insane. Which I probably have, but never mind. Five Times is my new (sort of) oneshot collection. All of them will follow the same pattern however: five things that that happened to a particular character. This started as a meme on LiveJournal, where the statement was: _Ask me for five things about a particular character, and I will respond with a list or ficlet._ So naturally, I have to write because lists are boring to me and I always want to know more than just the bare bones.

I've called it 'Five Times' because most of the prompts have started with 'Five times....'.

Feel free to give me more, too. Because I am ever so slightly mad and of course my overfed plot bunnies are rather greedy...

And a quick thanks to WildDaisies10 for checking over this first one for me, especially because I'm half asleep and it becomes hard to judge whether or not something is any good in this state.

x tromana

* * *

**Title:** Shed a Tear  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters:** Jane/Lisbon  
**Summary:** …or five times Teresa Lisbon has cried  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Spoilers: **2x08 His Red Right Hand  
**Warnings: **character death.  
**Notes:** Prompt from boutondor

**Shed a Tear**

i

She was only twelve when her Mom died.

_Anybody_ would cry if that happened to them, so it was understandable, forgivable.

She can clearly recall the moment she was told that her mother had passed away. A young Teresa Lisbon had been sitting in a hospital bed, covered in cuts and bruises, with a broken arm and mild concussion. Doctors and nurses had constantly told her just how lucky she had been to survive the crash and how brave she was for not even shedding a single tear. But the moment her Daddy had come into the room and informed her that Mommy had gone to heaven to be with the angels, she bawled her eyes out.

It was only when it came around to the funeral two weeks later that she realized the futility of her tears. Crying wasn't exactly going to bring her Mom back, nor was it going to stop her arm from hurting or get rid of the bruises. It didn't make her feel better either. If anything, it made her feel significantly worse because she was focusing on being sad. From that moment on, she vowed that she wouldn't cry unless there was a justifiable reason, though she couldn't really think of any occasion where weeping would actually help a situation.

When her Dad joined her mother six feet under, she kept her promise to herself. If anything, she also felt a blessed relief at the fact that she was never going to feel the slap of a belt against her legs anymore and that her brothers no longer had to cower at the sight of his fists. Her brothers all wondered how she could seem so cold, because regardless of the man he'd turned into, he was still their father. She was upset though, of course she was, she just didn't have the energy to cry and still didn't really see the point in it.

Now, she allows herself to cry on very rare occasions, but generally, she is very good at keeping that silly childhood promise.

ii

There were just a few things that she wanted for herself.

Financial security was one of them, especially after her turbulent childhood. Excelling at her job was another.

But the reason why she wanted to do her job well was partially because she wanted to ensure she always found the answers for those who needed it. They never caught the bastard who caused the car crash that stole her mother and had caused her the occasional problem with her right arm. She had near enough accepted the hand that life dealt her, but it was the idea that someone was never brought to justice for causing the death of an innocent that still hurt.

When she received a telephone call from Virgil Minelli, announcing that her application was successful and that he expected her to report to him on the first of the next month to start at the CBI, she couldn't help but start crying. Not through sadness, but through sheer joy. The tear just slid out from under her eyelid and as she bid the director farewell, she quickly brushed it away. It was silly, really, because she always associated crying with being sad and here she was, allowing getting weepy over something she had been so desperate to achieve.

She couldn't help it though, she was just thrilled that she was moving on with her career. Though she would be sad to leave the SFPD and especially Sam Bosco, joining the CBI was going to open up so many more avenues for her. She knew that she'd finally have the chance to tackle the most complex crimes that California could throw at her and therefore solve the crimes for those that deserved answers the most.

iii

It came as something of a surprise when Virgil Minelli told her he was retiring. He'd said it was partially because he was tired and because losing four good agents in one week had hit him hard.

But it had hit them all hard, not just Minelli.

Bosco had meant a lot to her and she wasn't ashamed to admit it. He had honed her from the start and made her develop from an inexperienced rookie to a confident agent. She appreciated the hard work that the rest of Bosco's team had done too and now they had all been mercilessly slaughtered on the whim of a serial killer. It was going to take a lot for the CBI to pull itself out of that rut and without Minelli at the helm…

Still, they would get over it. Eventually. They had to.

A couple of months after he resigned, she headed around to his modest townhouse. Most people would think it strange that someone would want to see their ex-boss, but Lisbon hadn't exactly lived a normal life to date. Besides, they'd kept in relatively regular contact and of late, something in his messages had seemed a little off beat, a little wrong and she needed to find out exactly what it was. She knew he would find it a little more difficult to evade the question if she was sitting right in front of him.

The man was looking more haggard and had lost some weight since the last time she'd seen him. The fine grey hair that made him look distinguished beforehand was thinner too and it didn't take her long to make the connection. Minelli hadn't resigned because he'd lost a team, previously he would have stood in defiance against Red John, he wouldn't have let the serial killer beat him or the CBI. Instead, he'd taken the opportunity to allow it to cover the real reason he had left. Especially when he confirmed five minutes later that not only was it cancer, but it was terminal.

Lisbon held his hand, smiled slightly and promised that she would stand by her mentor and friend until the very end. He'd gazed back at her, wearing an expression somewhere between appreciation and bemusement, but he knew that whatever he said, he wouldn't be able to sway her decision. Teresa Lisbon was more determined than most, after all and besides, he knew it would be nice to have somebody to stand beside him during what would probably be the most terrifying time of his life.

She didn't cry until she got home. While nursing a cup of cocoa, she allowed herself to weep for the second father figure she was on the verge of losing. It may have been somewhat pointless and she knew that better than most, but it got it out of her system, at least.

iv

Sometimes, she had briefly entertained the thought that Red John was invincible. Realistically, she knew that wasn't really plausible as he was a man and he carried the same frailties as every other human being. Anything could have killed him, just like anybody else. A car crash, cancer, substance abuse… anything. Everybody died sooner or later, after all.

It didn't surprise her much that it was a bullet that took his life away.

What _did_ surprise her was that it was a teenage girl who shot him, in self defense. She was meant to be victim number twenty two, but he never expected her to pull the firearm on him and blindly pull the trigger, hoping and praying that at least one would find its target. Of course that complicated matters somewhat, for the young girl had to prove that she had been trying to save her own life rather than having been a merciless killer much the way Red John was himself.

But still. The Red John case was actually closed. Not the way that any of them had imagined it, but still, it was over. She finally had the answers she had been craving for so many mourning relatives. Justice had been served for Bosco and his team, for Jane's family and so many other innocent people. Though it would never bring their loved ones back, it would hopefully offer them all a little comfort. Lisbon took the opportunity to glance at Jane and she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. He certainly didn't look like it was helping him, but he was able to deceive anyone easily. Maybe time would tell…

But when she finally had a few quiet minutes in her office, alone, the tears just flowed. It wasn't for Jane, for Bosco or any of the other people who had suffered due to Red John's blade though. She wasn't quite sure why it was, but she knew that a lot of it was simply out of sheer relief.

v

Patrick Jane once told her, quite bluntly, that he would never even consider dating her, never mind anything more.

She'd been a little annoyed and more than a little humiliated on that occasion, but she certainly didn't cry. One of the few lessons she remembered her Mom teaching her was that it certainly wasn't worth crying over any man. When he'd informed her just where he thought they stood just after she'd stupidly propositioned him, she'd thrown herself straight back into her job and pretended that nothing had ever happened between them.

She couldn't help but gape on the day he completely backtracked just six months after Red John's demise and invited her to the theater. Nor when he kept surprising her with little excursions to the beach, to the movies, to the zoo. Never the same place twice and always somewhere that would entertain the both of them one way or another. It was nice, sharing her life with somebody else and finally seeing him move on with his life. Even if it had been with somebody else, she would have been pleased for him, in that tight, jealous sort of way, but she hadn't needed to consider that scenario.

Even though it was her he had been wining and dining and spending every free moment with, she couldn't help but doubt herself until the day he proposed. She didn't cry, despite the overwhelming sense of relief that finally something in her personal life was actually going right. It had been a pretty close call, however.

Lisbon had promised she wouldn't cry the day when she walked down the aisle either. She'd always imagined that she would manage to remain cool and composed, much as she was with every other aspect of her life. However, hearing Jane say 'I love you' for the very first time in front of all their family and friends was enough to break down those barriers and caused the tears to cascade down her face more than they had done so in years.

end


	2. Standing On The Outside

**A/N: **Again, another weird (migraine induced) entry to the Jello Forever Challenge. A somewhat literal interpretation of the prompt. But _come on_, someone had to do it. And what with this collection, I had to do it five times over. Besides, it's rather silly and that contrasts nicely with the rather sad tone of the first one.

Thank you to: WildDaisies10, Habeous Corpus, Divinia Serit, anthropologist, boutondor, phoenixmagic1, jisbon 14, yaba, Ebony10, Frogster, Koezh, Nick Tarostar, lisbon69, Princess Popsicle, shopping-luva91, Viktorija, Famous4it and mtm for reviewing _Shed a Tear_. I'm so glad you guys like this idea and hopefully I'll get plenty of ideas to keep this collection going.

x tromana

* * *

**Title:** Standing On The Outside  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters:** Jane/Lisbon, Team  
**Summary:** …or five times Lisbon locked Jane outside of something.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Notes:** Prompt from the Jello Forever March Challenge. Prompt: Standing on the outside.

**Standing On The Outside**

i

"Lisbon!" Jane paused for a second. He could almost touch her and that was just teasing. "Hey, Lisbon!"

Eventually she raised a single finger to Rigsby to indicate that she would be just one minute and headed over to Jane. He was practically hopping from foot to foot in impatience and seemed rather relieved that she had finally gotten the message. It had only taken him five minutes of calling, begging and whining for her to finally give up and he noted that as a personal record. Carefully, she hopped over the yellow tape and Jane's eyes never left her for a second. It seemed like a blessed relief when she was standing in front of him, arms folded and foot tapping in that typical pissed off Lisbonish fashion.

"I appreciate your need for security, but this lovely gentleman doesn't believe that I'm a member of your team."

"You work _for_ my team, you're not a member _of_ it," she stated, making sure she enunciated every single word as clearly as possible. "There's a slight, yet important, difference."

"Semantics."

"Not," she shot back, cringing at how immature she sounded. But Jane always brought out the very worst in her and she couldn't help it. "Why are you here anyway?"

"To do my job."

"I left you with plenty to do back at the office."

"And how can I do my job if I can't get access to the body?" he continued, completely ignoring her statement.

"You know Jane, most consultants don't require access to a crime scene," she hissed. "I don't know why you have to be so different."

"How can I get an idea on what the victim was like if I don't see her body?"

"We know plenty about _him_, though thanks for offering. Now go away and do something useful for a change," she smiled slightly at Jane before turning her attention to the officer standing guard. "Don't let him through."

Jane watched with frustration as Lisbon wove her way back to the crime scene, where she immediately applied herself back to the task. He glanced at the body this time and she was right, now he took a proper look, he could see it was blatantly a man. Shaking his head, he faced the official standing beside him. The man looked as if he'd had a stick shoved up his ass, but it was worth a shot.

"How much would it cost for you to just turn your head for…"

"Not disobeying Agent Lisbon, sir," he answered, cutting Jane off with ease. "Her tongue is as sharp as a knife."

ii

He glared up at the sky and quickly decided that the cloud hovering above him looked ominous. Yet again, he found himself taking his cell phone out of the pocket of his dress pants and dialing a terribly familiar number. Jane was unsure as to whether or not she would actually answer though. Half the time, she simply ignored the call and the rest, she just shouted down the phone line at him to stop bothering her because she had work to do. Most people would just switch their cell phone off if somebody was calling them incessantly, but not Lisbon. She thought she needed it on all the time, even at the office, just in case somebody called her with a job to do. He smirked a little; if somebody said she needed to sell her soul because it would help out with work, she probably would. The little brunette agent was terribly faithful to her career and that was one thing he didn't quite understand about her. Life was for living, not for slaving away in an office. Still, at least she was letting him visit crime scenes with them now instead of leaving him hidden in the shadows.

"Lisbon, this is ridiculous," Jane whined down his cell phone, making sure he was the one to speak first for a change and fell silent for five seconds as she responded. "It's cold out here. The wind is blowing and I don't even have my jacket."

Jane shivered and glared at the cell phone as she ended the call. Really, it was terribly immature of her to lock him out of the whole CBI building. Okay, so the case had gone a little astray and maybe he might have talked their prime suspect into killing themselves instead of putting the gun down. _And_ this case had meant she had lost that cross necklace that her mother had given her and thus, was so very important to her. But still, she could have at least let him go in and get his belongings so he wasn't freezing his ass off outside because _that_ just wasn't fair. He could catch all menagerie of diseases, especially as it was a particularly cold winter for California. A cold, pneumonia, hypothermia… Well, if he did, it would serve her right and he wouldn't be in a particularly forgiving mood when she visited him in hospital claiming she was sorry.

He jumped when a grey pile of something landed neatly at his feet. It didn't take him long to identify it as his jacket, the one he'd left on the couch that morning. Gratefully, he pulled it on before gazing up to see Cho leaning slightly out of the window. Tentatively, he waved up at the Asian agent who simply nodded in response.

"Thanks, Cho. Now any chance you can…"

"No," Cho answered quickly and snappishly. "Boss told me to give it to you so that you would stop calling her every five minutes."

"Are you sure she meant throw it out of the window?"

"Yes."

As Cho withdrew from his spot in the window, Jane kicked a stone somewhat aggressively. Stupid faithful team. He'd break their resolve eventually. Maybe bouncing a rubber ball against their window would annoy them sufficiently enough to let him back in and stop this stupid vendetta against him?

iii

It had taken him seconds to pick the lock to her office door. It always did and he didn't quite understand why Lisbon went through the process of locking it. The action was so ineffectual and Jane had greeted her from inside her office so many mornings that he was actually beginning to lose count. Every time he did so though, she wore that same expression. The one that was a combination of annoyance, irritation and though she would vehemently deny it, a little bit of amusement too. It was almost becoming a game between them. She would lock her office doors and if he successfully broke in, he would leave a little something to show that he'd been. Just something simple, like a handful of strawberries, a completed form that she thought he'd forgotten to fill in or a couple of teabags he thought she might like. Always something essentially harmless, to take the edge of her anger and prevent her from shouting the building down. Usually something to apologize for his misbehavior too, especially if a case had lead to her having an abundance of paperwork fall on top of her.

This time, however, was slightly different. He hadn't done anything 'wrong' of late, nor had she been pissed off with him for some obscure reason. _But_ Lisbon had been conversing with a stranger. Well, probably not a stranger to her, but Jane didn't know him and therefore didn't trust him to spend time with her. He told himself it wasn't a slight twinge of jealousy that somebody else was in his Lisbon's company and that he was simply looking out for a friend. As he confirmed that fact to himself, he pulled up her chair and pulled the computer keyboard towards himself. Flexing his fingers, he typed what he was fairly certain was his password. Most people were predictable and Lisbon was as predictable as they came.

He jumped when the door swung open.

It was Lisbon and she wasn't on her own.

"You thought you could hack into my computer, didn't you?" she asked, somewhat amused and rather relieved that her password was particularly obscure to stop Jane from hacking into her files yet again. She shook her head slightly and changed the subject. "This is Andrew."

Bitterly, Jane thrust his hand forward and shook his hand. The man could be Lisbon's type, but he wasn't quite sure yet. To be fair, whenever he thought about men that Lisbon would probably like, he kind of, accidentally replaced anything she might like with himself. For the first time in a long while, he cursed his own ego and wished he'd actually paid attention to his subject. Quickly, he regained focus and took in as many details as possible about the man in front of him. He had a tight, possessive grip that was contradicted by his softened eyes. Broad shoulders, dark hair that was already receding…

"Andrew's my brother," she added lightly. "I hope you don't mind me meeting up with him now."

"Oh."

iv

She'd locked him out of a car and driven off before, so he couldn't believe that Teresa Lisbon would sink so low as to do it again. Her brother had been practically laughing his ass off as she did so, but the poor woman had looked so humiliated that she had turned a rosy red and dragged her brother off by his tie and left him at the restaurant. Alone. Okay, so maybe he had pushed the boundaries a little too far. Maybe he had bent the truth a little too much too, but really, she should have been able to tell when he was joking by now, right?

It had started off harmless enough, them discussing how long they'd been working together, stuff like that. Lisbon had been a little annoyed at first, but had relaxed a little by the time the main course had arrived. After all, she hadn't particularly wanted Jane there, that had been her younger brother's idea. He kept insisting that he wanted to get to know the 'famous' Patrick Jane and see if he measured up to the stories that his sister had told him. Problems started when Andrew just happened to mention just how happy he was to finally see his sister dating again instead of being so focused on work all the while. And Jane just hadn't been able to resist, he just had to run with it. Lisbon had been fuming but it was when he said that she was wild in bed that she snapped and left. Jane had chased them to the parking lot, leaving behind a rather delicious crème brûlée, but she had already locked all the doors to her SUV before he had reached them. She had simply glared at him as she snapped her seat belt in place before starting the engine and leaving him standing there, looking like a fool.

Now, it was nearing eleven p.m. and he was standing outside, alone, having pushed her a little too far after what had been a lovely, civil meal out with Lisbon and her family. At least this time he had his jacket so didn't have to suffer in the freezing cold again. After paying their bill, Jane called Rigsby, relieved that this time, the team didn't know that he'd irritated Lisbon again. Hopping from foot to foot and blowing in his hands in attempt to create some warmth, it was a blessed relief to see Rigsby's car pull up. Less so, when he saw the expression written on his face though.

"Ah, you had a date with Grace, didn't you?" he queried, somewhat embarrassed.

"You annoyed the boss again, didn't you?" Rigsby retorted, finally understanding how Lisbon got annoyed with Jane so easily.

"Maybe."

"Get in," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Are you _ever_ going to learn?"

v

The flowers were looking a little limp, but this was a last ditch effort to apologize.

Her brother had long since left and he'd hoped by the time that Andrew had gone home that Lisbon would be more in the mood for forgiving him. Flowers were a little clichéd, but really, he was running out of options. She'd thrown the basket of her favorite fruits back in his face literally, said she'd already seen the latest romantic comedy at the movies with Van Pelt, of all people. Adopting one of the new tiger cubs at the zoo in her name had drawn the faintest hint of a smile to her face, but she had since pretended that he had done nothing. He'd even stopped breaking into her office (_and_ stopped trying to hack into her account on the computing system) and given her the space and privacy that he knew she craved.

All of it to no avail.

And that was why he found himself on her doorstep with a bunch of roses, trying desperately to make himself heard above a jazz CD she probably didn't even like.

He'd already picked the lock, but it was on a chain and she was probably sitting by the door too as he hadn't been able to make it budge an inch. Jane contemplated breaking a window, but had a feeling she would probably kill him literally if he did that. Though Lisbon was off-duty, she did still have her off-duty weapon. And as she reminded him regularly, breaking and entering was a felony.

"Lisbon, please."

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"You never are."

"No, really, I am."

"You humiliate me in the little time we already spend together, why would I actively spend more time with you?"

"Because I make things more interesting?" he replied hopefully.

Lisbon allowed the door to open just a crack and he thrust the bunch of roses through it before she had a chance to say no. They fell to the floor beside her and Jane smiled weakly at her before he encouraged her to open the envelope that he had slipped in with them. Eyeing him suspiciously, she eventually obliged. The card was generic, simply stating 'thank you' in bold letters but it wasn't that that caught her eye. The cross necklace, the one she had though lost a few weeks had fallen into her hand. It was a little battered and bruised, but there was no damage a decent jeweler would be unable to sort out.

Standing backwards, she closed the door just enough to let off the chain. She had locked him outside of her house for hours, after all and there was only so long you could be angry with Patrick Jane for…

end


	3. It's Not Love

**A/N: **So this one was fun. Different to what I normally write for the fandom too, but it's good to push boundaries, right? I'm also developing a real fondness for writing jerk!Jane, because however much we try to deny it, he is a jerk at times.

Thanks to: lisbon69, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, mtm, Divinia Serit, yaba, Koezh, jisbon 14, Frogster, Ebony10, anthropologist, Nick Tarostar, boutondor, Viktorija, Chiisana Minako, phoenixmagic1, Famous4it and PhoenixWytch for reviewing _Standing On The Outside. _I'm glad you enjoyed it as I thought I was going a little (a lot) mad.

Oh migraine update: yup, still got it. But I feel more human again. Though with some people doubting that I don't know whether or not that's a good thing!

x tromana

* * *

**Title:** It's Not Love**  
Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters:** Jane/various women  
**Summary:** …or five times Jane lusted after a woman  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Spoilers: **2x10 Throwing Fire  
**Notes:** Prompt from ch19777 and a response to 003: dreams on mentalistprompt

**It's Not Love**

i

He was sixteen and the sun was shining down brightly.

This was another one of his Dad's deals, a private consultation with the 'Psychic Boy Wonder' that was Patrick Jane. Though, he was hardly a boy now and as days marched ever onwards, he was becoming more and more of a man. Ever since that girl, the one with the cancer, he'd taken to saving the scraps of money his father gave him. As soon as he had enough, he'd be away from the carnival circuit as soon as feasibly possible. He'd be able to choose his own subjects, the one that deserved swindling rather than those who simply needed hope.

Patrick took that as a sign of maturity, that he was finally growing up.

And that he didn't want to be pushed around by his father anymore.

Another sign was, well, women. He was beginning to _notice_ them more. Not in the sense of reading their body language, using educated guesses to work out what was on their mind and the like - he'd been doing that for almost as long as he could remember. More noticing them as individuals, people who he wanted to spend more time with, people who he…

He shook his head. There was time to be thinking of that later. He had a consultation to prepare for.

Like usual, he didn't know much about the deal. That was his father's expertise, though it couldn't really be that difficult, could it? He'd be able to manage without his father when he finally ditched him, wouldn't he? Patrick shook his head rather violently. Of course he would; people had said so many times that his natural charm would take him far. But still, he couldn't help but feel a little disconcerted. It was going to be a big step, after all. He glanced at his fingers, which seemed to have a mind of their own and barely noticed the flap entrance to their little 'room' open.

When he did notice he had company, after some prompting from his father, he noticed a gorgeous girl, no, woman, who was not much older than he was staring intently at him. She flicked her long, blonde hair and smiled nervously as she sat opposite him, waiting for him to work his magic.

Again, he felt guilty for duping her, though he couldn't quite put his finger on _why_. It wasn't until he was laying in bed, imagining the way her body could arch underneath his and him peppering kisses along her collar bone that he worked it out.

ii

Patrick just been dealing with his newest client. She was a proper daddy's girl who had no care for anybody but herself. All she wanted to know was whether or not her deceased husband would forgive her for cheating at the time of his death. Really, he didn't care either way and it wasn't exactly an occasion when he needed a moral backbone. This woman obviously didn't care much about other people, so why should he care much about her, except how much money he could get from her in return for his 'services'.

They'd been disturbed early. Again.

By the same person.

On occasion, this would annoy Patrick. More people meant more distractions and more distractions lead to the potential of more slip ups. Or more people to catch him out and play him at his own game.

However, in this case, Patrick found their intruder so much more intriguing than his client, but that wasn't exactly difficult. The bleached blonde, whose hair curled neatly at her shoulders, had arrived, yet again, to care for her friend. She was obviously concerned that the woman had just lost her husband and somewhat suspicious of Patrick and what he was doing.

Which, obviously, was somewhat of a problem because she simply fascinated him.

It was the way she tossed her hair with derision whenever he even mentioned his psychic ability. The way her eyes flickered with anger at the suggestion that he'd be around her precious, though undeserving friend's yet again. And of course, her mile-long legs, lithe figure and wide, though rarely used, smile.

Frankly, she was the only reason that he was dragging on this charade with the little cheater. It was because this blonde fascinated him so much and the fact that she really didn't seem to give him the time of day. While he spent his days flirting with his customers, he spent his nights dreaming of a woman whose name he didn't even know yet.

He felt just a little guilty tricking her into a pity date and surprisingly easy too. And finally, he managed to get her to direct a smile in his direction. There were no regrets at all when he watched her walk up the aisle towards him just two years later, however.

iii

He had all this power at his fingertips and the world was his proverbial oyster. Patrick could have any woman he chose and there was nobody to stop him. And naturally, he knew it and abused his enlightened position as much as feasibly possible.

He was now trapped in a loveless marriage and finally, he understood why marriages didn't always work out and why people strayed. He'd always held it against his mother for leaving his Dad and leaving him trapped as a performing monkey with a man who was blatantly living through his son and using his gifts to fleece as many vulnerable people as possible. But now, the only reason he stayed with his wife, the woman who he had been so passionate about once, was because she was pregnant with his child. It simply wouldn't do for a man to leave her in such a state and the publicity would be diabolical. Enough to break his career, he reckoned. And he'd been working so very hard to get where he was now.

Okay, not _literally_ where he was right now.

Because right now, he was in a hotel bed, with the legs of some vacuous television presenter wrapped around his waist.

He didn't like her for her personality, if she even had one, but her body did things to him that his wife's had ceased to do so what felt like an age ago. She was the one on his mind rather than the scornful woman he'd married, the one he daydreamed about when he grew bored with clients. And she was fun, she flirted with him and boosted his ego in just the right ways. Not that Patrick particularly needed his ego boosting, but it was nice hearing somebody tell you just how great they thought you were rather than nagging about the washing up. As well as being a reasonable fuck, this woman also understood the meaning of privacy because if their arrangement got out, it would have repercussions on her career too. It seemed that these days, regardless of gender, nobody liked a cheater.

Patrick was with her, his blonde mistress, the day his wife went into labor. He didn't feel particularly guilty about that, at first. It wasn't until he was holding his fragile little girl in his arms that he felt any remorse for being so late to the event. It wasn't as if he could go back in time and see the birth of his first child again, however much he wished he could.

He broke it off with the airhead the day they took their daughter home. Besides, having a child together seemed to have sparked off something. Something that had been missing from their marriage for quite some time and Patrick found that he didn't need the other woman to fill his thoughts anymore now that he had a child with his wife.

iv

"No, Patrick, I can't…" she muttered, her speech coming out in ragged breaths as he continued his assault of her collar bone. "You're my patient, I have to…"

"Shh…"

With practiced ease, he covered her lips with his own, nipping, licking and tugging at all the appropriate moments. Sophie Miller let out a sigh of frustration and desire as Patrick, her patient, continued with his ministrations. She should stop him, she was abusing a very sick man and her position of trust. Despite the fact he'd been locked in a small room, alone, for a significant amount of time now, he was still surprisingly strong and even if she had _really_ wanted him to stop, Sophie was unsure as to whether or not she would be able to.

Eventually, when he allowed her a split second for breath, she pushed him away, feeling ever so slightly guilty when he stared at her with his wide puppy dog eyes. She'd been working intensively on his case and knew that she held a fleeting resemblance to his deceased wife. They were of a similar build, both kept their hair long and probably most importantly, both showed him affection while refusing to allow him to cause them grief. That was what explained the lust, heavy in his eyes and the ways his hands had roamed the moment she had stepped a little too close to him.

She apologized, again, stepped out of the door as quickly as possible and leaned up against it, trying desperately to regulate her breathing. Though she knew she should never have allowed Patrick to get that far with her, she couldn't help but feel as though she was getting somewhere with her patient. Because he had actually shown a physical attraction to her, it meant that he was finally considering a life after his family, right? It also meant that his view point had opened up a little to include other people once more rather than the all-consuming grief that she had seen him with the day he first checked in. But still, the sooner he was better and he checked out, the better. Of all the patients to come and go, Patrick Jane tested her Hippocratic Oath the most and it would be better for her, personally, if he wasn't around tempting her.

Maybe it would be best for her if she moved into research instead?

Once Patrick was better, of course. She couldn't bring herself to give up on a case, regardless of how he taunted with her emotions.

v

Having a female boss could quite easily have gone either way, Jane (as he now even referred to himself as) decided.

He didn't really notice the growing attraction to Teresa Lisbon and for so long he simply ignored it. It was easier that way. After all, she constantly snapped at him, grew frustrated with his outlandish plans and generally never had the time of day for him. As far as she was concerned, he was an irritation, a nuisance, the perpetual thorn in her side that had been thrust upon her by the fat cats above who had no idea what else to do with him. There was no point even considering a relationship, however brief, with somebody who actively avoided spending unnecessary time with him.

Though, of course, he'd done that once before…

And look how well that turned out.

Jane didn't think he could take that kind of heartache again. Though Sophie had been so very kind to him and had help him regain something resembling sanity, he doubted anyone would have the skill to piece him back together if he lost another loved one. So instead, he continued to wear his wedding band, act as if he was emotionally repressed and pretend that it wasn't physically possible for him to be attracted to another woman since his wife had died. And he'd been doing a very good job of convincing himself that it's not love. That the nightly dreams of her meant nothing, that he barely cared for her as a colleague, never mind a friend.

It didn't help that he knew first hand just how dangerous Lisbon's job was either. Sometimes, it felt like the agents were looking down the barrel of a gun or being threatened with a knife every other day. But it wasn't a mindless act of violence or a near death experience that made Jane realize that maybe, just maybe, he should stop lying to himself. It was simply a case of the 'flu, her trying and failing to work through it and him being the only one willing (and the only person she'd actually allow) to sit by her and nurse her back to full health.

Regardless of him admitting to himself that he did quite like the concept of being Teresa Lisbon's lover in one form or another, it couldn't exactly happen just yet. There was too much standing in the way still.

But maybe, one day…

He just had to thaw the iceberg first. Oh and apprehend Red John too…

end


	4. In Pain

**A/N: **Okay, so this is a really silly one - I had a lot of fun coming up with the injuries. To the extent that I also have a more 'serious' interpretation of the prompt planned. What can I say? Jane + pain is fun to think of. A lot of fun, actually.

Anyway, thanks to: mtm, Koezh, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, anthropologist, yaba, lisbon69, phoenixmagic1, Frogster, Crackle, Snap, ch19777 and Viktorija for reviewing It's Not Love.

Back to the normal Jane/Lisbon routine now...

x tromana

* * *

**Title: **In Pain**  
Author: **tromana  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters:** Jane/Lisbon  
**Summary:** …or five times Jane has been physically hurt (daft version)  
**Disclaimer: **Not mine  
**Notes:** Prompt from Chiisana Minako

**In Pain**

i

"Oww… ow!"

Cho glanced up from his computer screen to see Jane shaking a finger furiously and staring at a piece of paper as though it had wronged him personally. He took the time to glance around the bullpen to see if anybody else was going to bite. Rigsby appeared to be stifling a giggle and Van Pelt was stoically ignoring Jane's fussing. Cho sighed. Though he knew better, he decided that he'd indulge the consultant.

"What happened?"

"Paper cut."

"Go see Lisbon then. I think she has some band-aids in her desk draw."

Jane nodded and decided that it would be make a good excuse to bother the senior agent, not that he ever particularly needed a justification. As he pushed the door to her office, she glanced up from some form or another, wearing that typical Lisbon scowl. She never particularly liked being disturbed whenever she was trying to make some kind of headway into her paperwork, which was the exact reason he usually interrupted her as much as feasibly possible. Besides, the woman really needed to learn to smile a little more often. It'd do her good.

"This is why I don't do paperwork, Lisbon," Jane moaned holding up his finger, complete with the barely visible cut.

"Oh I'm sorry," she drawled in response. "Did you want me to kiss it better?"

"Well, that would be a start."

"Never mind," she replied shortly, stood and left out of the second door.

Jane shrugged. Normally, he'd make chase, but right now, he had more important problems. Like finding the damned band-aids. It didn't take him long, however. He'd known immediately it would be something she would prefer to have close to hand.

He wasn't entirely certain whether or not it was necessary for them to be Disney themed though. Still, as he carefully extracted a Minnie Mouse one as that was all that remained, he decided to carefully file away the fact for future use. And to make sure that the others didn't see his hand before he could get a more 'mature' covering for his wound.

ii

"Yearly physical? Where in my contract does it state that I have to participate in _your_ yearly physical?"

Lisbon brought out his contract with flourish and pointed at the fine print. Jane scanned through it and broke out into a smile, certain that he had found the loophole he required.

"Here. Consultants need not undergo…"

"If they do not wish to work in the field," she finished succinctly. "So if you do…"

Jane glowered. Of course he needed to go to crime scenes. That was where he got his best audiences. Not that he didn't love showing off for the team, but new people were always so much easier to impress.

"I'll tell the others about your Disney fetish."

"You'll do no such thing."

"No point," Rigsby called, having listened into the conversation, showing Jane his arm, currently emblazoned with Donald Duck. "We already know."

The dreaded day arrived all too quickly and Jane, naturally was unimpressed. He swore time had been playing tricks on him. The first few tests, he decided, were perfectly fine. In fact, he was just starting to get into the whole exercising lark when the instructor announced that they would finish up with a nice, long run.

Jane glared at the others as one by one, they finished, leaving him trailing far behind. It wasn't long until he was the last one on the field, still trying to complete the required distance. Lisbon sipped periodically at her drink as she watched him continuing to jog rather pathetically around the track. He was surprised she had the patience to wait for him, the others certainly hadn't and had left what felt like hours ago. Instead, her eyes never left him as he puffed and panted his way around.

When he finally crossed the finish line, he couldn't have been more relieved. Lisbon jogged over and pulled her hair out of the rough ponytail as he collapsed happily onto the grass. She looked down at him with a bright smile and Jane wished he had the energy to get rid of it somehow, but really, he didn't.

"See? That wasn't so hard was it?"

"I hate you. And I have a stitch."

She smirked but he really didn't have the energy for anything cleverer than that.

iii

His head was thumping.

No, not thumping. It felt like somebody had thought it would be a marvelous idea to put a vice around his skull and continue tightening it.

Bright light, no any light, hurt. So did the motion of the car they were traveling in, though Lisbon was a relatively smooth driver. Noise too. It didn't help that Rigsby and Van Pelt were arguing in the back seat about a case point that they disagreed violently on. The red headed agent was right, but Rigsby's macho pride wasn't letting him give in just yet.

Jane wished that they would just shut up for five seconds. And that the nausea would abate too. The flashing lights dancing in front of his eyes obscured most of his vision and were still present when he scrunched his eyes shut. If only they would leave too.

It had been years since he'd last had a migraine and the problem just had to reoccur right in the middle of a very important case, didn't it? He figured it was because of a week ago. He hadn't forced his body to be so… physical for years. Jane decided that unlike the agents he worked with, he wasn't designed for such exertion. Yes, he knew he looked somewhat good and used it to his advantage, but for him it was effortless, not something that he needed to slog his guts out for in the gym.

The CBI building had never looked more welcoming as Lisbon pulled in the front gate and parked up. Rigsby and Van Pelt piled out but she placed her hand on the seat belt buckle, stopping him from releasing it. Jane looked at her quizzically, wondering what the hell was going on.

"I'm taking you home."

"But…"

"To my home," she clarified, looking at him as if he was an idiot. "You can use my couch until you're better. I don't want you sulking around the CBI because of a headache and taking your foul mood out on innocent bystanders."

"It's a migraine."

"Whatever," she stated as she pulled a tub of Advil out of her pocket. "Take these. And it's only 'til you're better, mind."

She started the engine once more and Jane grinned as he leaned back in the seat. Being ill obviously had its perks.

iv

Jane was the further away from the criminal and therefore he had a head start when Lisbon shouted 'run' at the top of her voice. For the first time in several months, he didn't regret his participation in that physical he'd been forced to endure. And that was despite the fact that it had taken him all those months to get over the humiliation of it all.

After all, somebody chasing you with a machete is always going to help make you focus on the benefits of physical fitness. Not that he'd become much fitter than he was since that debacle.

His shoes squeaked against the laminated floor as he skidded around a corner and he came to the conclusion that running in hospitals, however deserted they may appear, was generally not a good idea. How doctors made it from patient to patient in one piece whenever they had an emergency to deal with, he had no idea.

Briefly, he considered how the hell the perp chasing them had managed to get the knife into the hospital at all, but was distracted by Lisbon, who was glaring at him and urging him to hurry up. She'd caught up with him surprisingly quickly and Jane glared at her enviously. The woman seemed barely out of breath and completely unfazed by the fact that she was running for her life.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the exit and as Lisbon came to a grinding halt, he kept running straight into a glass door and winced theatrically as he was knocked to his feet. Lisbon, however, opened the door for Rigsby and Cho to enter. Within seconds, they had apprehended the perp which Jane had only succeeded in irritating.

"That hurt," Jane moaned, still lying on the floor.

"Oh don't mind him and his wounded pride," Lisbon stated smoothly, smiling at the others as they cuffed the man who had been threatening them. "You know what he's like."

"No, really."

"Next you'll say it's the door's fault."

"It was!"

Lisbon smirked. Jane really was a wimp.

v

Jane had always had a problem with his teeth, though he's never been quite sure what though, as like doctors, he had a serious phobia of dentists. Well, it was hardly surprising. Somebody who spent their lives peering into people's mouths then actively (and usually, quite happily) inflicting pain couldn't exactly be right in the head.

After several weeks of complaining, it was Lisbon, naturally, who landed up dragging him off against his own free will to see one of these purveyors of pain. He didn't exactly blame her though, had the shoe been on the other foot, he'd have grown irritated rather quickly too. Then again, that didn't seem to stop him much as he knew full well he perpetually irritated her.

The dentist smiled genially at him, obviously to lure him into a false sense of security. It was confirmed five minutes later that there were several problems and the only sensible thing remaining to do would be to have several teeth extracted.

On the day of the apocalypse, Lisbon was practically gleeful as she drove him to the surgery. Of course she said all the right things, like the anesthetic would dull most of the pain, the man knew what he was doing and such. But really, she seemed all too thrilled at the idea of him having to go through this ghastly procedure and probably a little disappointed that she didn't get to do it to him herself. After all, she'd laughed at him for weeks after the glass door incident.

Barely a couple of hours later and Lisbon was already driving him back to her home. It had taken a while for the man to pin him down to shove the giant needle in the back of the throat, but he had eventually succeed and now, Jane's mouth was still numb. He had a feeling it might have also lead to a bit of accidental drooling too, but Lisbon either hadn't noticed or hadn't mentioned. Despite his fears, the actual process hadn't been too bad at all but he wasn't looking forward to when the drugs wore off. Especially as there were stitches which would lead to the real discomfort when he could actually feel things again.

"Ah, silence is golden, isn't it?" Lisbon stated with a bright smile.

Jane could only glare in response. At least she'd given him access to her couch again while he recovered.

end


	5. Little White Lies

**A/N: **Why do I always have a migraine when writing challenge fics? And it's been too long since I last wrote a Five Times fic. *shakes head* Sorry...

Anyway. Thank you to: WildDaisies10, Chiisana Minako, Koezh, Divinia Serit, boutondor, anthropologist, fan of mentalist, lisbon69, JisbonvsCaskett, Injebjorg9, Sarcasm-the Lowest Form of Wit, yaba, phoenixmagic1, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, MK, waterbaby134, mtm, Frogster and Viktorija for reviewing _In Pain_. Especially so to fan of mentalist and MK who both signed anonymous reviews. Yes, I still intend to write the 'serious' injuries one - I'll get around to it at some point.

Now back to SSS stuff. Yay.

x tromana

* * *

**Title: **Little White Lies  
**Author: **tromana  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters:** Jane/Lisbon  
**Summary: **…or five times Lisbon lied to her brothers.  
**Disclaimer: **Not mine  
**Notes: **Jello Forever May Challenge. Prompt: empty promises

**Little White Lies**

i

"Yes, I know I said I'd come over…"

Lisbon bit her lip, suddenly feeling guilty for wanting a bit of time on her own for the first time in what felt like years. It had been a miracle that she'd even been able to book Thanksgiving off at all. If the rest of the country had time off, it was usually followed by a spike of crime which, no doubt, Minelli would want covered. She'd told him that she intended to visit her family, which she had at the time, but as it got closer and closer, she found herself dreading it. It wasn't that she didn't love her brother - she did. But she did need to be in the right mood to be exposed to his happy little nuclear family.

"But we've had a couple of really big cases come up," she muttered quickly, hoping that her brother would believe her blatant lie. "They're calling in everyone they can…"

"It's okay, I guess," Paul Lisbon answered, sounding justifiably disappointed. "I know, work's the priority. You can't help it if people suddenly decide that holidays are a good reason to start killing each other."

"I'll come and see you soon, I promise," she continued, rushing slightly. "It's just… my hands are tied."

"You always say that."

"I mean it."

"Alright, I get it. I'll leave you to get on now. I'll call again in a couple of weeks time, I guess."

She pinched the bridge of her nose as her brother ended the call. Maybe her priorities were being skewed a little of late, but trying to control Jane constantly had meant she really needed some time to wind down alone. Having the CBI's newest consultant on her team was a double edged sword - sure her team's close rate had improved, but equally the number of complaints had skyrocketed. And besides, it had been such a long while since she had last treated herself to a movie marathon and frankly, as far as she was concerned, she deserved it. Even if it did mean telling her brother a couple of untruths.

ii

"Who told you?"

She stared bitterly at her foot, propped up on a cushion and dressed in a lurid yellow plaster cast as she spoke down her cell phone. It wasn't her fault that she had tripped and broken her ankle, not really. Lisbon had been so busy trying to keep her eyes on a dangerous armed criminal, in a thriving public area, that she hadn't noticed the pot hole right in front of her and Jane had yelled over at her... It was a rookie mistake and now she was paying the price. It could have been a lot worse though; if Cho hadn't been with her at the time…

"Agent Cho did."

Suddenly, she felt a lot less grateful for Cho's interference. Lisbon understood why he had told her younger brother and she also understood his concerns, but it didn't stop it from irritating her. Not only was she a grown woman, but she had also never really taken to the idea of them looking out for her as she had always been the one to take care of problems. Besides, she was more than capable of looking after herself, had years of training and really, Paul should have been worrying about his young family rather than her. To make matters worse, this was one of those silly accidents that could have happened to anybody and didn't really need any special care or attention.

"You don't go willfully running into dangerous situations, do you?"

"Paul, it's a broken bone. I'm _fine_."

"Promise me you won't risk your life playing the hero," he continued, using the same tone of voice he used on his toddler daughter whenever he caught her getting up to mischief. "Please?"

"I…" she started, closed her eyes and immediately conjured up the worried expression of the eldest of her siblings. "Fine. Yes."

She was relieved when he accepted that as enough and he bid her farewell. As she flopped dejectedly back into her pillows, she told herself that she had only promised not to be reckless. There was nothing about not doing her job properly - and walking into whatever risky situations that entailed. It wasn't exactly a lie, more bending the truth.

She recoiled in slight horror. That was exactly the kind of thought Jane would have - and it was his fault that she wouldn't be discharged from hospital until morning.

iii

"Have you spoken to Tommy lately?"

It was Charlie. Charlie was almost always straight to the point, unless he wanted money. At least Paul generally had the decency to ask her how work was first before trying to wheedle something out of her. The moment she had answered the call, he hadn't even bothered with saying 'hello', just went straight to asking about Tommy. Then again, she hadn't exactly said it either, just growled her surname down the receiver. But, in her defense, she had been expecting an update from Rigsby on their current case so had been in work mode as she picked up the phone.

"Teresa?"

"I'm still here."

She hadn't even realized she had fallen silent, but the Tommy thing was difficult. When he was arrested, she had been deeply humiliated, somehow thinking that his wrong-doings reflected badly on herself. When Jane got them both into trouble, it was different and as far as she was concerned, Tommy should have known better - especially with having a law enforcement officer for a sister. Lisbon had never meant to effectively cut him out of her life, and normally, she would have been the first to forgive him, but dealing drugs had crossed that fine line between wrong and right. That simple fact had made everything between them ten times harder.

"I'll speak to him. Soon."

"No, you won't."

"I will," she retorted.

"Whatever. What's happening with that consultant of yours? Jane?" Charlie queried, quickly changing the subject. "Have you actually been on a date yet? I know you like him."

"Oh hush."

Charlie was far too immature and idealistic for his own good. Nothing was going to happen between herself and Jane and she sorely regretted telling him about him in the first place. Now, he was full of hopes for his sister to finally settle down and it just wasn't going to happen. Least of all with Patrick Jane.

iv

"You will come over for Christmas, won't you?" Paul questioned and Lisbon automatically sighed heavily in response. "Lucy can barely remember what her Auntie looks like."

The eldest of the Lisbon men called her a lot more regularly than the other two did. They usually wanted something when they did, whereas this was one of those rare occasions when Paul actually did. He'd actually upped the frequency since the ankle debacle; apparently her accident had reminded him just how dangerous her job could be and never mind the fact that he was now a father too. She had a feeling that he still hadn't quite forgiven him for avoiding him at Thanksgiving - and had even worked out the real reason why she hadn't turned up. In a way, she hated letting him down, but she found him and his family so exhausting - in a similar way to Jane, but for vastly different reasons. And if she was lucky enough to not be on call Christmas Day, she wasn't sure that she wanted the hysteria of a family celebration. Honestly, a bottle of wine and some progress reports sounded entirely more appealing.

"Please?" he continued, sounded terribly young and hopeful. "It'd be nice."

"Oh… yes. If I can. If… you know…"

Paul sighed and quickly changed the subject. It was nice that she had actually agreed to come over, but her tone had immediately given her away. If nothing came up at work, she would probably find some other kind of excuse to stay away. It hurt him to know that his sister actively avoided him, but despite having quite a few siblings, relatively speaking, Teresa Lisbon was a lone wolf. But he didn't have the heart or energy to argue with her at that very moment. It was better that he just accepted her worthless promise for now and move on.

Besides, shortly after Christmas, it would be her niece's birthday and she _never_ missed that, if she could help it.

v

"Yes, work's fine," she replied suspiciously. Charlie was clearly after something - probably money as he hadn't asked outright just yet. "Why?"

"Can't I take interest in my favorite sister's life?" he asked and she snorted in response.

"I'm your only sister."

"All the more reason for me to pay attention then," he declared down the phone, much to her irritation. "Been on any dates lately? Romance would do you good."

Lisbon jumped slightly as a pair of hands suddenly wrapped around her waist and an determined pair of lips pressed against her neck. She knew she should have expected him downstairs sooner or later. Jane was never particularly patient and regardless of how comfortable her bed was, he wasn't going to stay there without her. Briefly, she pulled the phone away from her face, covered it with her hand and whispered a hushed 'stop it' in his direction. Naturally, he didn't listen and she simply rolled her eyes in response.

"I don't really have time for-"

"You deserve someone to love you."

"I'm happy."

"You could be happier."

"Charlie…"

"Having a man in your life…"

"I don't _need _a man to be happy."

As she spoke, she pulled away from Jane yet again, trying to put as much distance between herself and the incorrigible man as possible. If she had a gag to hand, she would have used it immediately, but she didn't. It wasn't that she was embarrassed about her new relationship status, it just wasn't something she wanted to tell Charlie over the phone. And especially not when Jane was determined to continually taunt her either. He was in a funny mood and that never helped.

"Promise you won't give up on a love life?"

"I promise."

"Good."

It was hardly a lie, not considering exactly what was happening at that very moment, just not telling him the entire story. Eventually, he confirmed her suspicions and asked for a loan to pay for repairs on his car and left her to it. She looked at Jane who was smirking in response, partially because she was only wearing his shirt.

"So why not tell him about us?"

"Oh don't you start."

end


	6. Endings

**A/N:** How long has it been since I last wrote a Five Times fic? Too long I think. And this isn't even a five times, it's a five ways. I'll try not to leave it so long next time. Well, what with SSS stuff to upload, I know it won't be so long. Hah.

Thank you to: boutondor, AlternativeRocker, yaba, forthecoast, The Mentalist Rules, Divinia Serit, lisbon69, Koezh, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, anthropologist, lil smiles, MissNitaGirl, Chiisana Minako, Viktorija, waterbaby134, angierox2lov and PhoenixWytch for reviewing _Little White Lies_.

This was one of several *coughs* fics written for boutondor in the Jello Forever Summer Secret Santa and thanks to yaba for betaing.

x tromana

* * *

**Title: **Endings  
**Author: **tromana  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters:** Team  
**Summary: **…or five ways Red John could be stopped and one way he never will be.  
**Disclaimer: **Not mine  
**Notes: **Written for boutondor in the Jello Forever Summer Secret Santa. Beta'd by yaba.

**Endings**

i

It was quiet in the bullpen. Van Pelt was used to it though; being the youngest and most inexperienced agent meant that she invariably got assigned the least appealing jobs, such as paperwork, database searches, covering the phones and the like. When she had joined the CBI, her family and friends had found it all so terribly exciting. They thought she would be chasing down hardened criminals, slapping handcuffs on the wrists of evil-doers, shooting people to save the lives of others. They would definitely be just a little disappointed if they knew the truth.

Of course, she'd drawn her gun during fieldwork on occasion, merely as a safety precaution and nothing more. The only time she had actually fired it was down the range, practicing just in case the inconceivable happened. She was getting pretty good at it too. Well, Lisbon was pleased with her progress and that was the main thing - impressing her boss.

Lisbon was the only other person left in the office. Cho and Jane were busy questioning a suspect, a probable dead end in her opinion, but Jane had enjoyed needling the man the first time around and was looking for a repeat performance. She didn't even have a clue where Rigsby was, not that it mattered. It wasn't her job to know. He'd disappeared first thing that morning, without a word to anyone but Lisbon and Van Pelt hadn't seen him since. She tried to push it to the back of her mind. They had split up, gone their separate ways a long while ago. There was no need for her to be thinking so much about him, not when there were a dozen inane forms that required her signature.

"Van Pelt, we have to go."

The sharp voice of her boss startled her and Van Pelt gazed at her warily.

"Where?"

"Now!"

Van Pelt had never seen Lisbon quite so stressed.

As they drove to an unknown location, her boss updated her as succinctly as possible. Rigsby had apparently been working in dangerous circles, trying desperately to flush out Red John. He'd managed to send a message saying that they had discovered he was a mole and he didn't expect to survive the night. No wonder Lisbon looked so pale; he'd been doing it all under her instruction. Though Rigsby had been more than aware of the dangers it entailed when he accepted the task, Lisbon would inevitably blame herself if something happened to him.

Heck, Van Pelt would blame her too.

Though it had been a while since their split, since they last kissed and made love, deep down, she knew she still loved him. She just couldn't bear to lose him. If they somehow managed to scrape him out of this mess alive, then she would immediately look for a transfer. Rigsby was definitely more important than the job. She let out a hollow laugh in response. It was a shame that it took a life or death scenario to make her actually realize that.

Everything happened extremely quickly. It was rather clichéd in that manner, but Van Pelt had neither the time nor the interest in aphorisms at that very moment. All she cared about was the lone figure slumped in a chair barely one hundred yards away from her, being circled by a masked man. Rigsby was barely alive and Van Pelt knew the masked man had not spotted either herself or Lisbon just yet. Rigsby did, however; unfocused eyes trained on her as he smiled slightly.

"Grace…"

Red John moved, his blade growing painfully closer to Rigsby's neck.

Lisbon fired. Her shot went wide and she cursed under her breath.

Barely half a second later, Van Pelt did too. The bullet found its target with ease.

It was the first time she'd shot - killed - a man. But Rigsby was alive and he was going to be fine. She let out a shaky breath as Lisbon released him from the chair, before approaching tentatively. Seconds later, he fell into her arms and she clung to him for dear life.

Van Pelt wasn't sure how she felt though.

Was she now as bad as the man she'd just shot to death?

ii

Rigsby hated stakeouts.

He didn't really have the patience for them; he always preferred to be doing something with his hands, even if it was something as mundane as paperwork. When stuck in a car, either alone or with just Cho, or occasionally, one of the others for company, there was little he could actually do, so invariably ended up eating. Then, everyone else complained that he cleared out the car and then…

Well… it was just a vicious circle, really.

He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Jane and yet another one of his crackpot plans. According to the insufferable blond, their killer was rather like a magpie in behavior and would return to the scene of the crime for a memento of sorts. Lisbon had just shrugged her shoulders, stated that it was as good a theory as any, and that was that. At least he was on his own this time and there was nobody to complain about his eating habits.

Yet, Rigsby thought it as a waste of time. The murderer didn't require a degree to be able to work out that the house was under watch. Why would he risk arrest just to get something to remember what he'd done? It just seemed overwhelmingly foolhardy and well, stupid. Unless, it was the thrill of getting caught that made it interesting for the criminal. It would make more, though still not a lot of, sense if the killer was some kind of thrill seeker, adrenaline junkie, who needed games like this to make killing more 'fun'.

He paused, stopping in his attempt to open yet another bag of chips.

There was movement in the front yard. Somebody was skulking in the shadows, just as Jane had predicted. The figure briefly faced him and Rigsby frowned. He didn't recognize this man. It certainly wasn't their prime suspect or even a person of interest. In fact, Rigsby was fairly certain he'd never seen this man before in his life.

Quietly, he slipped out of the car. This man may not have anything to do with the crime they were investigating but it certainly looked like, no, it was definitely breaking and entering. The arrest went mercifully swiftly and it wasn't long until Rigsby had him back at the CBI headquarters. Lisbon was just as bemused as he had been and even Jane couldn't make that much sense of it.

According to their records though, Samuel Edwards was a serial thief. Jane, however, was certain that, yet again, there was more to it than that. His insistence eventually wore down Lisbon's resolve and eventually, she managed to persuade the local judge that a warrant was necessary to search Edwards' apartment. Rigsby agreed to accompany Jane to the complex, even though he thought it was a fool's errand. The search was typically arduous, especially since Jane didn't really seem to know what he was looking for. It didn't help that he knew Lisbon was getting irritable back at the office and wanted to make charges for the robbery.

Rigsby frowned as he opened the door to the man's closet.

His own face was staring right back at him, along with pictures of the rest of the team. Jane's image was most prevalent though and it unnerved him somewhat. Especially when he noticed that in the middle of the rather morbid collage, a rather familiar red smiley face was peering back at him too.

Well, that was rather unexpected.

Rigsby had been right; Edwards had been breaking and entering for the thrill of trying to sneak under their noses. Jane was too - there had been more to the perp than they anticipated. However, Rigsby was willing to bet a whole year's salary that even Jane hadn't realized that it was Red John they had in custody; all because of a foolish decision made by the serial killer and a lot of luck on Rigsby's side.

iii

Lisbon was taking a vacation. Well, she had been forced to take one by an insistent Hightower who was convinced it would work wonders on her stress levels. Cho privately agreed with the director's decision, not that he would tell Lisbon that. She was very tightly wound and a little bit of rest and relaxation would do her a lot of good. That meant for two weeks she would be visiting one of her brothers, who had recently moved near L.A. and Cho was the interim head of the Serious Crimes Unit.

It was something he didn't mind doing occasionally, when it was needed of him and absolutely nobody else would do it, but it wasn't something he felt comfortable doing as a permanent position. He had been too close to power when he was a member of the Avon Park Playboys and had quickly learned that he was much better suited to operating from the sidelines. Letting someone else take all the glory (and conversely, deal with the fallout should something go wrong) instead of being the one having to manage everything.

That was why he was relieved that Lisbon left him in charge during such a quiet period. It was almost as if she planned it that way, that she knew there wasn't going to be that much work during such a dreary November. In reality, he knew that Lisbon had absolutely no control over that kind of thing and the lack of murders was merely coincidental.

That was one of the main reasons why he found himself dealing with pettier requests than usual. A car smash on the freeway certainly wouldn't typically fall under their jurisdiction, but the LEO he'd talked to on the telephone had been insistent. Apparently, only he and he alone was suited to this job, had needed to go to the scene of the crime. All the harried woman had been willing to tell him was that there were three victims: two teenage girls and a man in his mid to late forties. If they'd had a busier workload, Cho would have refused and passed it onto the CIU. As it was, he was bored but somewhat intrigued by the call and therefore, grateful for something to break the monotony.

It didn't take too long for him to get there and that was despite the traffic jam that had grown in a relatively short space of time. When he spotted the cars, he was unsurprised that nobody had survived the crash; both vehicles were wrecked beyond recognition. It was rather tragic, but Cho knew these things happened. Quickly, he made his way to talk to the Sheriff, the woman who had demanded he made an appearance, in order to introduce himself.

Silently, Sheriff Wilson beckoned him towards the car and he furrowed his brow slightly. She seemed to know what she was doing, so why did she require his expertise? Eventually she nudged a cardboard box in his direction with her foot. They were the belongings of the male victim, the few things they had managed to salvage. A pair of leather gloves, a rather grotesque mask, a knife and a single sheet of paper. Turning over the evidence bag containing the paper, Cho wondered what it said. It had to be of some importance for Sheriff Wilson to deem it worthy of bagging.

His blood ran cold when he read the details. Lisbon's full name and the address of the brother with whom she was staying were glaring back at him in neat, cursive writing. Without another word, he walked away from the Sheriff and dialed Lisbon's number, urging her desperately to pick up the phone. When she eventually did, he had never been more relieved to hear his boss' voice in his life.

Though he knew he probably should, he didn't bother summoning her back to the CBI headquarters. He hadn't the heart to cut short the holiday that Lisbon so desperately needed, probably even more than she realized. Besides, it meant the team actually had some work to do and it would be nice to have something to report back to her when she returned.

It didn't take long for them to identify their male victim, nor to work out that he was indeed Red John. He'd been on his way to kill Lisbon. Instead, he'd died himself in a car crash. It was a strange and rather unexpected way to close that specific case, but Cho didn't care. At least they could stop thinking of Red John as some kind of superhuman and Jane could finally start to put some demons to rest and get on with the rest of his life.

iv

It was twins again. Red John seemed to be developing some sort of penchant for murdering more than one victim at once and naturally, Lisbon couldn't help but worry. Although, Camila was necessarily dead; they just didn't have a clue yet. This seemed to be turning into an almost exact replica of the Plaskett case and she could only hope that the second girl was found alive, like Maya had been. Though Jane seemed to be completely disregarding the possibility, she knew that theoretically, they could still bring one daughter back to the Savile family.

However, there was a massive difference between theory and reality. As of late, Red John seemed to be more vicious and bloodthirsty than ever; not man, woman, or child seemed to be able to survive the deadly blade of the serial killer. She honestly didn't think it was possible for the murderer to allow a potential victim to slip through his fingers, regardless of whether or not he planned their deaths.

The others had all gone home for the night, at her behest; she had even sent Patrick Jane kicking and screaming out the door. It was getting late and she knew that she would rather they returned in the morning, refreshed and ready for a good, long day's work. Besides, there was very little for them to work with; as with all Red John cases, he'd barely left any new evidence. Jane was right; Red John didn't make mistakes, not anymore and anything that was left behind at the scene of a crime was left behind for a reason. The key was working out _why_ he left it, not how.

Lisbon felt like banging her head against a brick wall. Everything she could think of was completely useless. All the facts she kept thinking of where things they had known for too long: how long his 'career' had been, how many known victims there were and the like. Nothing new, nothing to shred a light on his current whereabouts or his motive for killing Camila's twin was occurring to her. Then there was Camila herself. The longer she spent trying to solve Red John's mind games, the less likely they were to find the poor girl alive and in reasonable health. She didn't want to stop being optimistic about finding the girl alive, but as the seconds, minutes, and hours slipped by, the less hopeful she became.

She paused and gathered up her belongings. It was getting late and there was only so long even she could spend looking at a locket with a photograph of Jane's family in it; a locket that he apparently gave his wife just two weeks before her death.

As she unlocked her car, she stopped again. Perhaps she had been trying to think too hard? Perhaps Red John wanted them to return to where it all started for Jane rather than just try to rub salt into the figurative wound. His family had been murdered in Sacramento, in their second home, rather than the plush one in Malibu. Within seconds, her fingers were flying over her cell phone, dialing Cho's number. She didn't want Jane; Lisbon knew what he was like - he'd probably lose his head if she took him along to that house. Jane hadn't let any of them set foot in it. He had even bought another apartment in the city rather than return there.

Cho met her in front of the apartment complex. It was eerily silent and within fifteen minutes, they were climbing the staircase to apartment 4581. The door was only pushed ajar. After a sharp nod, they entered the room, only to see Red John himself, standing beside a wall, halfway through painting his trademark smiley face. For half a second, Lisbon wanted nothing more than to empty the magazine of her gun into the serial killer there and then - Camila didn't deserve such a death, especially as the bastard had clearly toyed with the innocent girl first. Instead, she slapped her handcuffs around his wrists.

She consoled herself with the fact that he could no longer destroy any more innocent families. And that Jane hadn't become a murderer over a lowlife scum like him. Besides, at least he would get what he deserved through the justice system, in a court of law. That was something she had always wanted.

v

Jane pulled the knife out of Red John's chest with relish and automatically wiped the blade down his pants. Finally, finally he'd caught up with his nemesis. Not only that, but he'd managed to kill him as well. He had slaughtered the bastard as he had done to his wife and precious child so long ago now. Red John finally got what he deserved: death.

Falling to his knees in exhaustion, Jane looked over at the body of his arch-enemy. Glassy blue eyes stared back up at him, unseeing, unknowing. Though he felt a strange kind of relief because he had actually survived the incursion, he felt little more than that. That was a little strange; he'd expected a sense of elation because he'd finally vanquished the man. Then there was the anticipated joy and relief for having kept that promise to his wife, the one he repeated year after year on the anniversary of their deaths at the graveside. This year, he would be able to tell them he'd actually done it. Not that it made any difference to how he felt right now, which was merely numb. Jane shook his head, hopefully that would come later.

However, half of him was surprised that he had been left alone with Red John long enough for him to be able to kill him. Jane had expected Lisbon, or another member of the team, to come bursting through the door and stop him somehow at the critical moment. Though he'd given them a red herring to go chasing instead, he knew it wouldn't distract them for that long. None of them were idiots and it would soon become clear that it was just a distraction technique to give him a little time alone. Give him time to breathe and time to kill.

But where would he go now? What was he meant to do? Well, he would probably end up in jail; however, not for too long. During quiet periods of time, when they had little to nothing to do, Jane occasionally researched Californian law. The fact that Red John had killed his family definitely fell under provocation and that removed murder one from the table and instead, put voluntary manslaughter in place. But what would he do after jail? He wouldn't be able to work for the CBI again, that much was certain. It was strange, but until this very moment, he hadn't really considered the idea of an 'after'.

The door slowly creaked open and a rush of cool air and bright light hit him. Jane turned around to see what was responsible and was unsurprised to see Lisbon there. It was better late than never, though, not for Red John, who would undoubtedly have preferred it if she had arrived just three minutes earlier. She was clearly and justifiably irritated as she holstered her gun and strode over to Red John's body. Kneeling, she pressed her forefingers to the dead man's neck, seeking confirmation that Jane had done what he set out to do. It was only then that she really acknowledged Jane, dressed in his blood-spattered suit and grinning like a madman.

"You should have told me," she demanded and Jane merely shrugged in response.

She opened her mouth to speak again, but quickly seemed to realize her words would fall on deaf ears. It was too late anyway; Jane had already set out to do what he intend a long time ago and nothing she could say or do could turn back the clock. She couldn't resurrect the dead, couldn't make Jane feel the remorse that even he knew he should.

"Stand up, Jane."

He obliged and Lisbon sighed gently as she placed the handcuffs around his wrists and tightened them. Quickly, she rattled through his rights and Jane nodded in response, having heard it all before. Somehow, he'd never expected this. He always knew that she would have to arrest him if he survived, but had always imagined that she would scream and rage first. That she would tell him just how much of an idiot he was and be furious with herself for not being able to prevent him from becoming a killer.

In a way, he'd _wanted_ that. Her complete ambivalence to the situation made it all the worse.

000

i

It was quiet and nobody really had anything constructive to do. Rigsby and Cho were bored, throwing a ball of elastic bands lazily back and forth, simply to entertain themselves. It didn't bother Jane much; he was quite happy napping away. Van Pelt, however, kept shooting them scathing looks and was on the verge of threatening to fetch Lisbon when a suited man tapped her lightly on the shoulder, pulling her out of her reverie.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I am looking for Agent Lisbon and Mr. Jane. If you could be so kind…"

"Jane's over there," Van Pelt muttered, jerking her thumb in the direction of the couch and the man smiled briefly. "Lisbon is in her office, I think. I could…"

"No, I'm sure I can manage," he replied with a smile. "If you could wake your sleeping colleague and send him to join us, it would be much appreciated."

Van Pelt shrugged slightly, stood and made her way to Jane. Cho quickly stashed away the ball and looked equally confused. Rigsby went to say something too, but changed his mind. It was obvious though; none of them had a clue who this gentleman was, why he had graced them with his presence or what he intended to talk about with Lisbon and Jane. Jane was unimpressed with being roused from sleep, but when Rigsby said he had to go see Lisbon, his face brightened and he bounded off, with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever.

When Jane entered Lisbon's office, it was the mystery man who offered him a seat, irritating Lisbon immediately and he then introduced himself as Jason Williams. As soon as Jane was seated, he opened the briefcase he had been carrying and spread the contents over Lisbon's table. Mementoes from every crime scene that Red John had graced: inane little objects that nobody would miss. Jane's eyes were immediately drawn to a charm bracelet, his daughter's first piece of jewelry. He went to pick it up, but Lisbon slapped his hand away, refusing to let him touch the evidence without latex gloves. She pulled two pairs out of her drawer and Jane fingered it, unshed tears gathering in his eyes. Lisbon, however, was more interested in the photographs. Pictures of Jason Williams with every single body of Red John's victims spread across her desk.

"I believe you will need your handcuffs now, Agent?"

Lisbon tightened the handcuffs around Williams' wrists and the man had a serene smile on his face. He knew that neither of them expected him to just walk into their domain, give himself up and end it just like that. That, however, was the beauty of the situation. Williams knew that Jane had been dreaming of killing him every day for nearly a decade and by doing this, it took the control out of his nemesis' hands. Giving himself over to the authorities also belittled them; it made them seem as though they couldn't catch criminals unless they walked through their front door and gave themselves up. Really, it was the perfect solution in every way.

"One thing I don't get," Lisbon suddenly said, staring directly at him. "Why? Why give yourself up?"

"Why, my dear?" Jason asked, somewhat amused. "I thought that obvious. I was bored."

end


	7. Devious

**A/N:** I'm awake far too early considering. Bah. Oh well, never mind. Not much I can do about it. At least I have a busy day and this means I can get some writing done before I leave. Yay.

Thank you to: lisbon69, Jisbon4ever, MissNitaGirl, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, The Mentalist Rules, MK, phoenixmagic1, anthropologist, Viktorija and forthecoast for reviewing Endings. Especially so to Jisbon4ever and MK, both of whom logged in anonymously. Also to Divinia Serit for betaing.

x tromana

* * *

**Title: **Devious  
**Author: **tromana  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters:** Jane/His wife, Jane/Lisbon  
**Summary: **…or five times Jane apologized to get what he wants  
**Disclaimer: **Still not mine.  
**Notes: **Written for boutondor in the Jello Forever Summer Secret Santa. Beta'd by Divinia Serit.

**Devious**

_"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more." _- Mark Twain

i

Amelia was angry, no, furious with him. They'd been dating for long enough for any normal man to know that discussing your sex life with your girlfriend's parents was a social faux pas. It was bad enough that he'd spent his youth as a traveler and entirely forgotten about the concepts of school and college. Patrick Jane wasn't refined enough for her parents' taste and certainly not the most ideal suitor for their little Amy. The night's conversation had just proven their point. Instead of talking civilly, he'd managed to make them all turn a ruby red and then wondered why she had decided they should leave early.

And now she had locked him outside of her home in sheer frustration. Not because Amelia didn't want to indulge in the luxury of having his arms around her waist, but because if she did let him in tonight, she'd be liable to hit him. Again. Though she was angry, she certainly didn't want to resort to violence to prove her point for a second time. That usually wasn't her style.

"Amy…"

She sighed as she heard him call through the door. Cringing, she turned the television up another couple of notches, hoping that Patrick would get the message and leave her alone for the night. When he called yet again, she realized this was Patrick Jane. Hoping he would go away was like hoping a starving bear wouldn't maul you to pieces.

Patrick looked oddly relieved when she finally answered the door. Amy watched him carefully, twisting her blonde hair around her index finger. She remained mute as she closed the door behind him. The only reason she had let him in was because he was making a fool of himself in front of the neighbors. Besides, he was the one in the wrong. She had to give him a chance to make it up to her one way or another.

"I'm sorry."

"You always say that."

"I mean it."

She shook her head lightly and switched on the kettle. Amelia had heard it all before and were she not so hopelessly in love with the odd, blond man, she would have reached the end of her tether long ago.

"How can I believe you?"

"Maybe I need somebody to teach me the proper social niceties?"

"What are you trying to say, Patrick?"

"Marry me."

"What?"

The cup of tea she had just poured landed on the floor. She had always thought that Patrick was too strange to ever want to marry somebody and had accepted it. But here he was, on one knee and he even had the ring. Were it not for those little details, she would have laughed in his face.

Well, she did anyway. But she also accepted and smirked at the fact her parents would hate her for it.

ii

Patrick Jane's daughter took after his wife. The same round blue eyes, the same button nose. A completely identical pout when something wasn't going her way. Something which was so cute on the young girl, that Patrick couldn't resist teasing her, though he knew he really shouldn't.

She was also almost as easy to win over in an argument. Only almost because Amelia was a pushover. That was proven by the fact that she had accepted a marriage proposal when she was meant to be furious with him. When they were meant to be fighting. Not that Patrick was Jane had crossed her arms and was tapping her foot in disgust. It clearly wasn't a good sign. Then again, her daddy had missed her birthday party and he'd _promised_ that he wouldn't. He was a big, fat liar who lied. She was five now. She understood the importance of promises, even if he didn't.

She did stay up late even though her Mommy had said she should really go to bed. But she couldn't sleep; Lily was too angry for bed time and even the soothing glow from her night light wasn't enough to calm her down. There was only one thing that would do that though: telling off Daddy.

So, instead of crawling underneath her covers, she leaned against the door, listening eagerly for the tell-tale signs of his arrival. Eventually, she jolted awake when she heard the sounds of Mommy's angry voice. Obviously she wasn't best pleased with him for staying out so late either.

With a grin, she grabbed Mr. Bear by the paw and stumbled downstairs. The moment her parents spotted her, about five steps from the ground, they stopped squabbling. But Lily wasn't stupid; she knew her Mommy and Daddy fought. They just wanted to think she didn't know. It made them feel better that way.

"You missed my party," she spoke with a pout.

"I know, Pumpkin, I'm sorry. I was working."

"You're always working."

Lily couldn't help but smile when her Daddy scooped her up for a hug though. His hugs really did make everything better. Whenever she scraped her knee or bumped her head, the first thing she'd want was a kiss from Mommy and a cuddle from Daddy. Then she would feel much happier. Because she loved her Daddy, really, she did. She just hated the fact that he was always working instead of playing with her as promised.

She wasn't that easily won for forgiveness though. The hug may have made her feel happier, but it wasn't until the candy bar appeared in her hands that he was back in her good books. It was then that she was happy to hug him back and he grinned at her.

Obviously, that was what he was after too.

iii

"I'm sorry," Patrick started and Sophie Miller nodded gently at him. "For all the times I attacked you, hurt you in any way…"

"It's alright, Patrick," she murmured, lightly touching his left arm with two fingers. "You weren't yourself."

"That's no excuse."

She immediately recognized the pained expression on her-ex patient's face. It was the one that signified he was about to withdraw into himself again. Blame himself for his family's deaths, his breakdown, his actions during said breakdown. Sophie sighed gently. Just because she had discharged him a mere five minutes beforehand, it didn't mean that she had to lose contact with him just yet, did it?

"Patrick?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to go for a coffee?"

He pulled a face of disgust and she choked down her laughter, disguising her amusement with her left hand briefly. She'd almost forgotten his abhorrence of coffee.

"A cup of tea, then?"

"I think I'd like that."

Ten minutes later and they found themselves in a quaint little tea shop. Patrick was nursing a cup of oolong tea while she sipped at a fruity kind that he immediately turned his nose up at. He really was particular about what he drank. Sophie couldn't help it though; she smiled. Patrick seemed like a changed man. Like a significant portion of the weight on his shoulders had finally been lifted.

"What do you think you'll do now?"

"I don't know," he replied, surprisingly honestly. She'd expected him to be evasive when answering the question. "Maybe approach the CBI again, see if they still want my services. My wife was always proud when I worked for them…"

"And you can help them catch…"

His eyes darkened a little.

"Some things go without saying."

"Yes, you're right."

They fell into a restive silence once more, both too deep in thought to even bother with drinking their tea.

"I mean it," he suddenly said. "I am sorry. I wasn't…"

She leaned forwards and immediately silenced him with her lips. It took him a couple of seconds to realize what was happening, but he responded eventually. When they broke apart, he smiled shyly at her.

"Thank you," he murmured, "but I don't think…"

She nodded.

"I understand. Goodbye, Patrick."

He left swiftly. Sophie didn't even have a chance to ask if she would ever see him again.

iv

Van Pelt glanced at her screen, then back to Rigsby and back once more. She had been working with the team, and Lisbon, for a good nine months now and had automatically assumed that she would be above Jane's petty mind games by now.

Obviously not.

So, maybe she had been daydreaming about Rigsby topless a little more often since he'd had to strip down during the Justin Prentiss case. But it was only natural; Wayne was an attractive man who kept his body in great shape. And she was merely a red blooded woman who appreciated what she saw.

There was absolutely no need for Jane to draw attention to it though. It was pretty juvenile, even for him and yet, at the same time, oh so typical of him. And now, not only did Rigsby himself know, but her boss too. How was she meant to face either of them without blushing now? For the first time in a long while, Van Pelt found herself grateful for the fact that her work was mainly desk based and predominantly the boring stuff that nobody else wanted to do. At least it would give her a little time for the embarrassment to die down and maybe, she might be able to face her colleagues again without wishing a hole would just swallow her up.

Jane approached her and she narrowed her eyes in his direction. Her problems at work were all his fault and she wasn't quite ready to forgive and forget just yet.

"Hey, Van Pelt," he started brightly and she scowled.

"D'you want to…"

"No,"

"But I didn't ask-"

"It's still a no."

"Even if I get you some nougat on the way?"

She turned to face him, somewhat shocked. How the hell did he know that she had more than just a little weak spot for nougat? Van Pelt glanced down in her bin. Three wrappers were already there and it was last emptied the night before. It was probably that which gave her away.

"And I am sorry."

"Really?"

"Yes."

She shook her head disbelievingly, but rose to her feet anyway. Though she had a feeling she would regret it, the nougat had sold her. After a terrible couple of days of desperately avoiding people, she deserved a treat. Jane grinned as she stood and didn't stop as they walked down to the parking lot. Van Pelt had been easier to persuade than he had anticipated. She hadn't even asked -

"What are we doing?" she suddenly queried, looking at Jane suspiciously. "And does Lisbon agree with it?"

v

"I'm sorry, Lisbon."

Even the puppy dog eyes didn't work on her. She snorted as she continued to gather up her files while trying to pretend he actually wasn't standing in front of her. A week off. She was going to go insane with nothing to do for seven whole days. No Patrick Jane sounded tempting though, but she had a feeling that she was going to land up returning to total anarchy. That was if she hadn't died of boredom first.

And last time she was suspended, she had somehow gotten stuck in a crate and shipped to Mexico. Lisbon was still surprised that Hightower hadn't had enough and just got rid of her then. Instead, she'd returned to glowing praise. Who knew how this one would turn out?

"Really, I am."

"No, you're not," she eventually snapped and she rounded on him. "You're only saying that in the hope that I'll forgive you and everything will go back to normal. Then you'll just continue with your old mind games and _nothing_ will change. I'll keep getting into trouble because _you_ haven't heard of boundaries."

"Feel better?"

"A little, yeah."

"Go on a date with me."

"…what?"

"A date. You. Me. Doing something fun, maybe followed by a meal…"

"I know what a date is," she replied snappishly, staring at him with rounded eyes. "But why the hell would I want to date you?"

"Because you enjoy my company?"

Again, she snorted. Okay, he was right, she usually did enjoy his company. Not that she would vocalize that of course, his ego was definitely big enough already. Anyway, at that very moment in time, she was so pissed off with him that any other feelings she had for him were completely eclipsed.

"Okay. Fine. What about if I behave for the whole week you're absent? One date in exchange for that."

"And you won't bother me either?"

He nodded."Oh you'll never manage that. You'll get bored."

"I'll take that as a yes then."

000

"What do you mean he caused no trouble? No hypnotism? Nobody trying to sue him? He didn't even get hit by somebody?"

"I'm really not _that_ bad, Lisbon."

"You are," Cho chimed in. "Usually."

"I don't know what got into you this week," Van Pelt added, though the expression on Cho's face suggested he very much knew.

"I had an incentive."

Cho held his hand out to Rigsby, who scowled and handed over a crisp twenty dollar bill. Lisbon, however, glared at Jane before wondering just how long she could stall this farce of a date for.

She should never have agreed to it in the first place.

end


	8. Acquaintances by Circumstance

**A/N:** Writing fic (Verdigris, to be precise, for those who want to know) and updating is my break from renovating the girls' run. Not only are my plot bunnies spoiled princesses, so are my real ones.

Thank you to: autumnftw, waterbaby134, chocolateymenta, Aeryn Lavanthia, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, Frogster, Jisbon4ever, MissNitaGirl, lisbon69, anthropologist, MK and Viktorija for reviewing _Devious_. Especially so to MK who logged in anonymously.

This is another result from the mentalistprompt fic meme. It was written for boutondor and the prompt was Lisbon/Elise friendship - silence.

x tromana

* * *

**Title: **Acquaintances by Circumstance  
**Author: **tromana  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters: **Lisbon/Elise friendship, Cho/Elise romance  
**Summary: **…or five times Lisbon and Elise randomly bumped into each other.  
**Spoilers: **Up to 2.23 Red Sky in the Morning  
**Notes: **Written for boutondor in the mentalistprompt fic meme on LiveJournal. Prompt: silence

**Acquaintances By Circumstance**

i

She feels a little like an idiot, coming to the hospital like this. The case isn't even closed yet (though heavens knows where Jane and Cho are) and she's wasting precious time on social calls. Well, not exactly. They needed a statement from Elise, a description of the two men who had broken into Cho's home and assaulted them.

But it isn't the statement she's concerned about. She'd seen the way Cho had looked at Elise shortly before she was taken away by ambulance and spotted the panic in the woman's eyes, especially once she realized he wasn't going to come with her. That's the danger of being a relatively high-profile police officer - your loved ones are in constant danger too. Though she hates living so far away from her brothers, it's also a relief that they're out of state. They're at less risk then.

Her badge can let her in to all manner of places and it doesn't take long for Lisbon to gain access to Elise's hospital room. They are keeping her in for observation, just to check… stuff. Doctors are never especially precise about these things - they never want to be accused of misdiagnosing somebody. The door creaks a little as she opens it and Elise looks stunned to see her partner's boss standing in the door frame. It's hardly surprising though - were the shoe on the other foot, Lisbon would have reacted in the exact same way.

"How are you?" she queries as she hands the flowers over.

"I'm okay," Elise answers quickly, not sure what to make of the situation. "Thank you for the flowers."

"It was the least I could do."

Elise nodded, not having the energy to argue. She's heard the stories from Cho enough times. Lisbon has the tenacity to a rottweiler and she doesn't have the energy to get into any fights. Not right now and certainly not over something as mundane as this. Silence quickly envelopes them; they barely know each other so it's almost impossible for them to keep the conversation going.

"I'm sorry," Lisbon quickly mutters when it gets too much. "I know you need rest, but I'm going to have to ask for a statement now."

She nods, understanding Lisbon's stance. Besides, she knows she feel better once she starts talking about it. Going over issues always makes her feel better anyway.

ii

Quite some time has passed since Elise first stopped by at the CBI headquarters. It's partially intentional, partially not. Cho had briefly mentioned how he'd found it a little odd seeing her at his workplace before and when he actually said something, she knew he meant it. But she has also been overwhelmingly busy with work - the unexpected break thanks to the assault had left her with a sky high backlog of paperwork and she is only just beginning to get it back to a more acceptable level.

She could have left without saying hello to him and just meet him at the restaurant tonight as planned, but that would have been rude. As she's in the building, representing a client, she might as well just drop by and see if he wants to go somewhere for lunch too. Elise knows he isn't that busy - he always tells her immediately if he has to go out of town for work.

"Elise?"

It's Teresa Lisbon whom she meets first. The woman looks far more composed than the last time she saw her, hovering slightly in her hospital room. Then again, that's hardly surprising. The CBI headquarters are a familiar ground to her and she doesn't feel like she's invading somebody else's territory or personal space.

"Oh, hello Teresa."

She nods gently and stands in silence, trying to work out what to say next. The only thing they really have in common is Kimball Cho and their relationships with him are at the polar opposite of the scale.

"You're looking better."

"I feel it, thanks," she answers with a warm smile, relieved that they were actually managing to find something to talk about. "Do… do you know where Kimball is?"

"You've just missed him. He went out to lunch with Rigsby… Wayne."

"Okay, thanks anyway," she says swiftly, trying to hide her disappointment. "Can you tell him I stopped by and said hi?"

iii

Heels click against the parquet floor and Lisbon immediately glances upwards to see who is making the disturbance. She knows it won't be a nurse or doctor, coming to give her an update on her colleague's condition as stilettos are far too impractical for them, but it's an automatic reaction.

When she sees Elise standing in front of her she tenses and feels a little relieved in equal measures.

Lisbon hates relying on technology to pass on messages. Voicemail can be terribly unreliable and so many people simply do not bother to check it. At least Elise didn't fall in that category and she can now tell her what happened to Cho face to face. This is the moment she's been dreading, partially because she still blames herself for what has happened.

"How is he?"

Lisbon shrugs in response and returns to glaring at her fingers. When she eventually speaks again, she briefly explains how they ended up in this situation and the anguish is apparent in her voice.

Elise, unsurprisingly is completely understanding and at least attempts to comfort her partner's boss. She can see just how devastated the other woman is and wishes there was more she could do. Or at least, some way to try and get her to stop blaming herself for what was probably an unavoidable accident. Being a police officer is dangerous work and Elise has already experienced the darker side first hand.

It doesn't take them long, however, to realize that silence is preferable to talking. Anything they could say or do just seems inappropriate or uncomfortable. They know that a gunshot wound to the leg isn't exactly life-threatening in most circumstances, but it doesn't stop the worry. Complications can happen when you least expect them and neither woman wants to jinx anything by speaking.

When Elise entwines her fingers with Lisbon, somewhat uncharacteristically, she doesn't pull away and simply accepts the small comfort.

It shouldn't be long until they hear something now.

iv

As soon as she receives the telephone call, she heads towards the CBI headquarters. Not because Cho's there - he's still recovering from his accident, much to his annoyance - but for work purposes. Criminal law is a messy business but somebody has to do it. Besides, Elise also enjoys the challenge and that's the main thing for her. A challenge.

She's somewhat disheartened when she realizes that her client has been arrested by the Serious Crimes Unit. Though Cho's not working with them right at the very moment, she doesn't much like the idea of trying to undo the hard work that they put in. Unless they're in the wrong of course, which happens very rarely considering that Patrick Jane works with them.

Still, it's not going to stop her from fighting Mr. Andrews' case. He did hire her for a reason and as far as Elise is concerned, everybody, even a bastard like him, deserves a good lawyer.

When arguing voraciously with Teresa Lisbon about Andrews and the possibility that he killed the teenage girl, Elise decides that everything Cho has ever bothered to tell her about the woman is spot on. There's a reason that she has climbed up the career ladder so quickly and that's because she is exceptionally good at her job. Realistically, she doesn't even _need_ the help of Patrick Jane - she just got stuck with him somehow.

And if Cho's to be believed, he could even cost the woman her job.

It doesn't take too long to get the matter resolved, considering. Almost as soon as they finished, Elise made the effort to pull Lisbon aside for a personal conversation. The woman looks a little taken aback at Elise's concern about where it leaves them, but is completely understanding that she is merely doing her job.

And as she leaves CBI headquarters, Elise cannot help but be relieved that Lisbon is rational enough to understand that.

v

Whenever she needs to relax, this park is the first place Lisbon heads. And what with Kristina Frye disappearing, Red John rearing his ugly head again and Jane being as surly as ever, all she needs is calm and solitude. Her feet pad reassuringly against the concrete, sounding out the beat as she runs. She's so absorbed in the task in hand that she almost ignores Elise, sitting on one of the benches and playing with a tissue.

Only almost. Instead, she stops and takes a seat beside her.

She feels a little uncomfortable next to Elise, who looks so well put together, even when she's clearly upset. Then again, that's hardly surprising considering she's just wearing a t-shirt and her sweat pants. Practical for running in, not so much when it's looking likely that you're about to have a heart to heart with a woman you barely know. Eventually, Elise tells her what's wrong and it's a simple statement: she's worried because Kimball is more distant than ever.

And then, the floodgates open and she pours open her heart and soul. Lisbon knows that she's stilted as she tries to comfort Elise, but wants to help the best she can. This always seems so much easier whenever it's the relative of a victim, but that's probably because they're strangers and Elise is an acquaintance, at least.

Eventually, Elise pulls herself together and apologizes.

"If…"

Lisbon sighs, stops speaking and starts again. She knows she's completely hopeless at talking about emotions and that is making this discussion all the more difficult. Besides, she's grown so used to pushing other people away that this goes completely against her natural instincts.

"I'm not the best person to be talking to…"

"Oh no, you're…"

"There's no need to lie, Elise," Lisbon interrupts, accompanying her statement with a pointed look. "But if you need somebody to talk to again, you can always come to me."

Elise's hand migrates onto Lisbon's and she gives her an affectionate squeeze.

"I'd like that. Thank you."

end


	9. Only Almost

**A/N: **So I'm suddenly getting back into the swing of writing. Not sure what happened this weekend, but whatever. I'm grateful that I've actually been able to write; it feels so liberating. Hehe.

Thank you to: autumnftw, Famous4it, forthecoast, ness345, Jisbon4ever, Viktorija, MissNitaGirl, PhoenixWytch and Koezh for reviewing _Acquaintances by Circumstance_. Also to the awesome Miss Peg for betaing.

This fic is a belated birthday fic for the absolutely lovely Chiisana Minako. I hope you enjoy it hon! I tried my best to steer away from angst but you know what I'm like. Also my submission for the Jello Forever Little Bang and a response to a mentalistprompt prompt. Woo.

That's all for now.

x tromana

* * *

**Title:** Only Almost  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters:** Jane/Lisbon  
**Summary:** or five times Jane and Lisbon almost kissed and the one time they actually did.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Notes:** Written for Chizuru-chibi aka Chiisana Minako. Happy belated birthday, hon. Jello Forever Little Bang fic and mentalistprompt response. Prompt: first kiss. Beta'd by the incredibly awesome Miss Peg.

**Only Almost**

I

"So that's another criminal I've caught."

"We've caught," Lisbon answered quickly.

Jane ignored her correction and merely smiled when she half-heartedly knocked her bottle of beer against his. It had been his decision, to treat her and the rest of the Serious Crimes Unit to post-case drinks.

"You should learn to loosen up?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Relax. We're here to have fun."

Lisbon squirmed slightly and Jane was merely amused. He knew she couldn't relax, not with her boss standing merely feet away from her, laughing jovially with Cho over a game of pool. Being the only woman on the team and only second in command clearly meant that she felt the need to remain professional at all times. Even when having a quiet drink with friends.

As the night progressed, Lisbon did relax, if only a little. The alcohol loosened her tongue a somewhat and though she was still cagey, Jane found that the conversation flowed more freely. She was a fascinating creature, the polar opposite of his wife, but he liked that. Jane wasn't one for having a 'type' as such, he found all humans intriguing and something attractive in most decent women.

"I should go. I have work in the morning."

"Oh, do you have to?"

"Yes, Mr. Jane," she answered shortly. "It was very nice of you to treat us to this, but we still have to get up in the morning. Although you've finished consulting for us on this case, we still have several more to solve."

"Criminals stop for nothing and no one?"

"Precisely."

"Well, let me take you home, at least?"

"No, it's okay, I'll take a cab."

"Oh come on. I've only had one drink and I have to drive past your house anyway."

He was somewhat taken aback when she eventually nodded sharply. Usually, it took more than a little convincing to try and get Lisbon to agree to anything. Still, Jane didn't complain. He enjoyed Lisbon's company, partially because she was such a challenge. Unlike the majority of women, she didn't simply become putty in his hands. She had her own mind and a stubborn one at that.

"Well, thank you, I guess," Lisbon muttered as they pulled up outside her townhouse. "I guess I'll see you around."

"Wait."

Jane grabbed hold of her wrist and she didn't pull away. Swiftly he moved his hand to her cheek and tentatively leaned in. It was then that she actually pulled away.

"You're married, Mr. Jane," she stuttered and quickly exited the car. "Go home to your wife."

She shut the car door and stormed up to her house. Jane didn't leave until she was inside.

II

"What do you want, Mr. Jane?"

Lisbon hadn't expected to see him, least of all today. Unsurprisingly, he looked particularly disheveled, but then again, she knew he had just come from his wife's funeral. She hadn't been invited. Why would she? She barely knew the family and only knew Jane himself because he had consulted on a couple of cases for the CBI. And on each occasion, she had been the one stuck babysitting him.

"I want you. I need-"

He didn't finish his sentence and instead, practically lunged for her. Lisbon took a couple of steps back, somewhat surprised that he had even dared try such a move. She watched warily as he regained his balance. Had he tried to kiss her because of that incident a few months back? The time when she had foolishly agreed to let him take her home?

"Go home, Jane."

"But Teresa, I…"

"Your wife…"

"It's not as if I can hurt her any more, is it?"

He grabbed her wrist and annoyed, Lisbon pulled it away.

"Get some help. You're not thinking straight."

She slammed the door in his face and tried not to feel too guilty. There was little she could do when clearly, he only had one thing on his mind. The man was a mess and was just looking for a little love and affection. Something or someone to soothe the pain of losing his family in such a violent manner. It didn't help that he had obviously been drinking heavily and wasn't thinking straight either.

Lisbon wasn't willing to be the rebound though, regardless of whether or not he was sober.

Besides, he had to deal with emotions in his own time. It was too soon for him to even consider a relationship with another woman, however unsuitable. Outside of work she barely knew the man and he'd probably only decided to drop by because she had tolerated him on a couple of cases. Maybe, if he hadn't attempted to come onto her on her doorstep, she would have been willing to help him through it.

Instead, she just had to get rid of him and calm herself down.

She just hoped that he would actually take her advice instead of moving onto yet another woman. Someone who might give into him and give him what he wants - and what he absolutely did not need.

Though she could always hope that he would go home or check himself into a motel and sort himself out instead.

III

"I hear you're having problems with finding somewhere to put Jane?"

Virgil Minelli looked up and seemed surprised to see Teresa Lisbon in front of him. He hadn't even heard her knock on the door. Silently he acknowledged the chair in front of him and she accepted it gratefully. She wasn't quite sure what had driven her to see her boss about this, but once she had gotten the idea in her head, she couldn't quite let it go.

"Well?"

"Yes. Yes I am," Minelli eventually replied. "Montgomery is threatening to walk if I don't move Jane on and firing him isn't an option. Jane's too much of a loose cannon. It's safer having him in house then left to his own devices."

"I know. That's why I'll have him."

"You?"

"Why not?" she demanded, staring at him pointedly. "I have experience working with him and…"

"You have no need for a consultant though. Your closed case records are…"

"Fine, I know. But Jane needs somebody to control him and I think I can do it."

"Very well, on your own head be it."

Later, Jane cornered Lisbon in her office, with a sheepish grin on his face. Lisbon smiled briefly at him before studying the form in front of her. She didn't really have time for interruptions and he shouldn't really have been there. He wasn't due to be attached to her team until Monday. However, she already had more than enough experience to know that telling Jane 'no' was like telling a cat not to eat freshly carved ham.

"I heard I'm joining you on Monday."

"You heard correctly."

"Thank you."

Tentatively he leaned forwards and placed a kiss on her cheek. Without another word, he left and Lisbon was thoroughly confused. Of all the ways for a future colleague to act, that was probably pretty near the bottom of the list. Still, she wasn't going to complain. Jane was a challenge and that was one of the things she liked best about her work.

IV

"Lisbon?"

"Unless you have good news about the Bond case, I don't want to know."

"You should eat something."

"I'm fine Jane, I've got work to-"

"And if you run yourself into the ground, you won't catch this killer."

With a flourish, Jane placed a basket of candy in front of her and Lisbon simply stared at it. As he had been pestering her about eating something, she had expected something somewhat more nourishing than candy.

"I thought you'd want me eating something…"

"More nourishing? Yeah, but you don't have time, remember?"

"Shut up."

Lisbon took a closer look at it and then frowned slightly. It was decoratively wrapped, with flowers on each individual wrapper, but that wasn't what caught her eye. It was the name - Flower Kiss Candy.

"Jane…"

He looked caught off guard for a second and sat down opposite her.

"I… I want to be able to kiss you. But I can't… because…"

Lisbon placed the candy back down on her desk. It was an interesting choice, something he'd picked up from the Asian section in the grocery store. She hadn't actually heard of before and unsurprisingly so. Clearly, he was intent on symbolism and the hint was so obvious, that it wasn't even lost on her. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Sure, over the past couple of years they had grown steadily closer, but she hadn't quite expected this. There were moments when she thought that, maybe, just maybe…

But even if he did want a relationship, there was still the whole Red John dilemma.

With Red John still firmly in the picture, she would never be able to have more than fifty percent of him. Jane needed closure, even after all these years. Without it, he was distracted, driven only by a sense of guilt and desire for revenge. They would be fighting a losing battle. The fact that he had loved his wife, even if he had been unfaithful on occasion, meant that she wouldn't only be fighting her ghost, but a serial killer too.

And Jane was right; people who got close to him did get hurt.

"I understand," she replied quietly and Jane nodded, quickly withdrawing.

After he left, she opened up a piece of candy and popped it in her mouth thoughtfully.

It was sweet, just like he could be at times.

V

Red John had died.

It had taken them all by surprise, especially Jane.

When you hear about the death of a serial killer, you expect it to be a blaze of glory. Gunned down by the police or stabbed to death by a jealous rival. Death through complications of a relatively routine operation just don't come into it.

But that was what happened. Red John had simply required a simple operation had caught an infection of some super-bug or another and had died weeks later. The only reason they knew it was him at all was because some DNA had been left at his final murder and had matched up in a screening shortly after the murderer's life had come to an end.

Jane was strangely relieved though. Red John had died, he was gone, forever. It was the least the criminal deserved. The weight had been lifted off of his shoulders; there was no more wondering what would happen after Red John. No more wondering if he would actually live to see such a thing either.

He stayed in Lisbon's office more often now. Even if he didn't have anything to say to her, he liked laying on her couch listening as she typed furiously at the computer. The woman did endless paperwork and it made him grateful that his hands were never tied with such inanity. They'd grown closer too; significantly so. In fact, Jane felt as if he were dancing on some fine line between friendship and something more. Which side of it they were, he wasn't quite sure.

"Jane, come here. I want you to take a look at this."

Surprisingly obediently, he sprang to his feet and joined her to stare at the computer screen. She had a file open, from an old case, one he'd long since forgotten about. It didn't look like it was going anywhere, so there was little point in him actively trying to remember the finer points.

He couldn't focus on the screen. Her hair was looking particularly shiny for some reason, maybe she had switched her conditioner? And her perfume was new too. Something lighter, with more floral undertones than he was used to. He turned to look at her and slowly, they drew closer, until…

"Boss? We've got a case."

They sprang apart, like two guilty school children caught in a lover's tryst by the headmaster.

"Right. Yes. Sure. Thanks, Cho."

xxx

I

"I think we should go on a date."

"Pardon?"

"You, me, going out somewhere nice. A break from the mundane. Celebrating life and enjoying each other's company."

"Right."

"You sound dubious."

She stared him directly in the eye. They'd known each other for so long now and although there had been moments, they just hadn't acted upon it. Did they know each other too well now to even consider dating? Or was that just a terrible excuse because she didn't want to risk having her heart broken by another man? If they did do anything though, it would be dangerous to their friendship. That was something she treasured now. There were so few people aside from her brothers she actually trusted. Although she knew that she shouldn't sometimes, deep down, Lisbon did trust him.

And it scared the hell out of her.

But not as much as the idea of actually giving into feelings which she may well have but was too nervous to admit to.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because of this."

Seconds later, his lips came crashing down on hers and Lisbon found herself paralyzed with fear. Should she push him away, pull back and tell him he was acting inappropriately? Theoretically, she could easily go as far as reporting him for sexual harassment. He had, after all, entered her office and pretty much without warning, kissed her. It was like a repeat of a month ago, except this time, he was more forthcoming, more determined.

And more importantly, there was no Cho interrupting them.

As his hand slid through her hair, Lisbon found herself wrapping her arms around him and melting into his touch. His teeth nipped eagerly at her bottom lip and his tongue swiped neatly across her mouth. Though it had been a while - for both of them - Jane knew exactly what he was doing and Lisbon found herself more than happy to be taken along for the ride.

He pulled back, breathless.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Have I convinced you…"

A devilish grin erupted across her face.

"I don't know. I think I might need a second try, just to be sure."

end


End file.
